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How to Maintain Healthy Relationships after Baby

Hi All!

It's been a while since my last post because let's be honest, having a baby changes time management DRASTICALLY!

Most of you have seen, we welcomed our perfect little man 7/2/21, both baby and mom were healthy - just very sleep deprived. Dave was the most supportive husband through the entire hospital stay (and leading up to it!) He was in awe of everything women go through during the labor process. It's incredible how your relationship can change in a brief moment when you see your spouse in a new light. For both of us, our relationship has changed since bringing little Hudson home. For him, seeing what my body went through, how strong I was, and then how emotional becoming a mom/starting the breastfeeding journey and everything after was, absolutely shifted the way he saw me. For me, seeing my already incredibly supportive husband witness my labor, watch his son enter the world and become a father - totally shifted my visual of him as a person.

Our experience had me thinking about the relationships we've build all around us. Before becoming parents, our day-to-day was 100% different. Our time was our own, the events/adventures we went on were thought of in a different way, and the people we surrounded ourselves with were already special to us, but now... we're giving this more and more thought and purpose.

Since living through a pandemic as an adult, we had already seen a shift in the ability to see friends, or make any new ones.. However, people don't tell you just how big of a shift this is when becoming parents. To date.... (our little one is eight months old), I can count the times we've seen friends on one hand. Now, this is expected to some degree, as we were incredibly cautious for Hudson since he was brought into the world during Covid. But this got me thinking, should we be more intentional and purposeful on who we spend our precious free time with, and who will influence our son?

To give a touch of background, Dave and I are both the middle children in families of three, and although the middle child is something special and fierce, we are often the peace makers, people pleasers, push overs... basically we want to make sure everyone is happy and we don't disturb the peace. We have a hard time speaking up or setting boundaries when it's going to upset others. In the past, these personalities have meant we continued surrounding ourselves with people who may not be the healthiest for us, because we didn't want to disturb the peace by leaving a friendship behind that we weren't benefiting from anymore. This is a HUGE life lesson we are learning to work through, since becoming parents. Shocker, YOU get to choose who you spend time with, and who is around your family!

Along with choosing who we are spending our time with, we are also learning that some of the more traditional/old fashioned ways of raising kids, is not how we'd like to raise our son. Some of the concepts or methods we were brought up under aren't necessarily "wrong" in our minds, but they aren't the methods we've chosen for our family. All this being said, we were so fortunate to have wonderful upbringing's, and healthy/happy childhoods (Thanks parental's!) I've been learning a lot about this process, and how it will best work for our family. Here are a few of the tips that have helped us:

What I'm getting at is, learning to set boundaries for the sake of YOUR family.... IS OKAY. Gaining a voice when it comes to family and friends, is healthy and honestly, necessary. As we start navigating into a really tough season for our family due to Hudson's medical journey (new post to follow), we're learning that what we share and how we share it, is equally as important as what we request of those around us. Our hope in starting to set more defined boundaries with family and friends, is that our relationships will only flourish and grow. I'm sure there will be some bumps in the road - but this is a reminder that you get to decide how to raise your family, and asking for adjustments from those around you is not unreasonable.

As always, thanks for reading!

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